Friday, May 18, 2012

Death takes a Holiday on Ice

Well, another ice show practice this week and I got to pick out my mask. I'm going with the Jason Voorhees look since I will be appearing in a zombie number as Death--Destroyer of Worlds.
Tremble in fear all ye under 7.
Except that I'm a foot and a half shorter than the fearsome Jason, and wielding a hockey stick instead of a machete, and a 60 year old chick, I am terrifying.

So, my mask selection easy and done in two seconds. While everyone else was sorting through the alien, skull, and zombie masks, I was tooling around on the empty, open ice between Adult2 and Learn to Play2. I worked on my hockey stops. Then, overwhelmed by the open ice, I did a spiral while holding my hockey stick.

I was baaad. Naughty. A rapscallion. Totally off the reservation. The mask. The mask took over. Suddenly, I was on a nice edge on good ice and doing a good spiral, while headed directly at a tall guy stumbling around in LTP2. The hockey stick twirled by itself in my hand like a drum major's, and just before I hit the guy, I dropped into a hockey stop. And my out of control mouth said,

"Hey, baby, how you doing."

Yes, the mask is haunted by the spirit of Joey Tribbiani.

I retreated to the ice show area, and behaved like a nice little, old lady for the rest of the practice.


  1. Brilliant!

    What was the response?

    1. You know, I think with the mask and the usual rink background noise, he probably didn't understand what I said. And he was at least 30 years younger, so wouldn't take it seriously if he did.