Friday, April 27, 2018

Terror on Group Ice

Thursday night was spirals in group. I'm nearly 70, so I totally claim I'm  not getting my leg above my hip. Although I know, if I worked on it every day, I might possibly be able to stop grunting in pain as I raise that leg up off the ice.
So Far My Spiral is
However, Badass Skater can do a Y-Sprial. I dropped a dime to the coach on that. I got an eye-roll from Mr Badass, then he gained some speed and did a lovely Y-spiral with good position--apparently not really looking where he was going. After all, it's not like you're going to stab someone iwhen your blade is at shoulder level....

Unless there was an adult male in his way

SADLY....there was an adult Basic 4 adult skater in Mr Badass's way
A TERRIFIED Basic 4 skater 
With a blade headed right to his eyes!

The adult Freestyle skaters all laughed.
 Sometimes we can be so cruel.

The end of the session was filled with FO3, into forward loop turns, into backward toe-picking, into cross-fronts, into something else, then repeat.  Well, the best I can say is "Not awful for old and slow!"

And since it was last session in the season, the coach asked me if I wanted to test.

Thanks for believing in me

But "Bye!!"

Sunday, April 22, 2018

Being Run Over on Public

So on Saturday, Summer had finally arrived--for sure this time.

We hope. At least there hasn't been a freeze alert since Tuesday.

There were 7 of us on public. Two coaches, 3 freestylers, me,  and my coach's student. Since it was almost empty, I went to one of the corner circles and worked on my 8's (classic figures style).

Let me note, I'm slow and big, and working on my fourth or fifth 8. You can't miss me.

Suddenly, on the ALMOST EMPTY RINK!,  a freestyler appeared out of no where and did a lutz in the circle I was doing my figures 8s in.  THEN!!! she did a short turn back into the circle and skated fast right at me.

I thew my hands up to protect my face and dodged out of her way.  I had to skate away from her for a few feet to steady myself, then I turned around and said, "This is public. Not freestyle."

Anyway when my lesson started, I told my coach what happened. When I told her that I'd told the skater that "This is public", she nodded affirmatively. "Good, we need them to respect public rules."

Then she asked "Which one was it?"

"I don't know," I whined. "She's got long brown hair and is dressed in black."

My coach looked at the three freestyle girls; all, with long brown hair and dressed in black expensive outfits.

"You, know," she said, "They spend all that money and they all look like morticians."

Saturday, April 14, 2018

When Group Coaches Try to Fix Me

You know, I've spent a long time getting over  a technique, or learning some skill, then a group coach will come along and.....thinks....

One coach tried to get me to do an outside mohawk--at speed--into a back cross with a twizzle to a forward cross into an outside mowhawk--wash, spin, repeat.

Outside Mohawk 
Now, I used to do outside mohawks when I first started skating. But more than one coach told me "Oh, don't do those, those are dangerous. You may step on the tail of your blade." So I switched FOR YEARS to inside mohawks.  Now, this new coach says, "Oh, do this exercise with an outside mohawk."

I spent years not doing outside mohawks, so now, out of nowhere, they pop up again?

Oh, yeah. And at the same time, I'm also supposed to hold my arms still--no flag waving arm for me!

Don't get me started about the group coach who wanted me changing my free leg position in my one foot spin: knee bent, pointed outward, with the foot crossing the leg. That's THREE THINGS!!

Sunday, April 8, 2018


This is my level of Commitment to Back 3's

This is what my coach wants it to be

After a discussion we agreed on this....

 So I committed to alternating back edges and back 8's for every lesson from now until  hell freezes over or I get a BO3. Coach says it will do something to make me less of a scaredy cat for threes.

Anyway, I'm I'm hoping I don't end up with the Devil as a coach when Hell Freezes over

Saturday, April 7, 2018

Spring Is Here!!!

It's after Easter and officially the rink has gone to 'Summer Hours'.  I think this has made everyone a little discombobulated. We're not used to skating 2 hours earlier, and in theory it's warm weather so who knows what's going on in our heads.

Bad Ass Skater almost stepped on the ice with one skate unlaced. I caught him just in time. "What are you? A five year old with negligent parents?"

Later Bad Ass Skater and a male coach were on the ice throwing shade at each other with their catch foot spirals....on public. A really empty public. The rink guard just ignored it.

I was working on my back edges and using my verbal cues. My coach had told me to tuck my free foot behind my skating foot after I switch the free leg to the back. So it's like this....






And it works pretty well.  Coach is happy, I'm happy. Back edges are happy.

As we're working on my spins, the rink manager comes to the gate and signals the guard to come over. He points to me with an angry face. The rink guard says some thing and  the manager leaves. The guard goes back to guarding.

It's about 10 minutes later that I realize some parent must have complained to the manager  that I was yelling "FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!"  instead of "Tuck Tuck Tuck!'

THEN on the way home, it started to snow.
Whatever. Spring is here. I know because Public starts at noon and there aren't any hockey boys on the ice, and the ice tourists are few and far between.

Tuesday, April 3, 2018

The Bad Side Mohawk

Now that I've revisited spins over and over, I'm now going to revisit bad side mohawks.

And I'm doing this for George, blog master of "On Thin Ice" who has written about his bad side mohawks too.

Imagine you have a problem with a mohawk where you stroke onto your right skate then bring your left skate forward to touch the inner arch of your right foot.

Notice how the skater in the image above holds his arms in a T? I can do that stroking onto my left skate for a mohawk, but not my right.

Okay, I have issues. I have one 'open' hip and one 'closed' hip. So I had to develop a technique for one leg different than the other.

Step 1: Arms in the T position, stroke onto my right skate (the 'bad' side)

Step 2: Just a fraction of a second before I bring my left foot forward to the center of my skating foot, I drop my left arm down to my left side.

Step 3: As soon as I switch to my left foot, I raise my left arm back into the T position.

Okay, what's happening physically here?

I think it's that as I drop the arm down as I bring my foot forward, that I am actually OPENING the closed left hip ever so slightly. Just enough  that I can successfully do a mohawk from weird upper body positions. This is possible because when I bring the left skate forward, and the arm down on the same side, that my left should pushes back--forcing the right skate to turn then lift (dropping my left skate to the ice).

If I'm doing the mohawk at  speed, I actually swing the  left arm behind my back -- tuck my left arm behind the back might  be a better expression--and can do the mohawk at speeds I couldn't do before.

It's worked for several weeks. It's not pretty, but meh, not going to the Olympics.