Wednesday, April 5, 2023

It's Bruised Butt all over again

In 2015 I fell on my tailbone and bruised the bones on my coccyx. This is called coccydynia. I know that you're thrilled with the excitement of learning a new SKATING injury word to impress your orthopedic surgeon with.  YOU DO HAVE AN ORTHOPEDIC SURGEON DON'T YOU? Either a knee guy or a  butt guy.  Trust me. Eventually you'll need one or the other.

Anyway, my ortho retired a few years ago and then COVID happened. So now that I'm restarting skating again, I fell on my tailbone (again) and I have no ortho anymore. I'm a 50% disabled vet (the V.A, has lots of Orthos, so I'm getting a new otho there.)



I know the new ORTHO  will tell me to stop skating. 

I'm debating if I should pretend to be 50 instead of 72 just to trick him

Instead I'm getting butt pads and ignore him.

HA! Take that ORTHO!!

Tuesday, April 4, 2023

Me and My Hockey Playing Podiatrist

 I went to see my hockey playing podiatrist today for the fourth and final visit on the walnut sized corns on the bottom of my feet. I found out today that my podiatrist graduated from Yale. and his brother is the hockey coach to another Ivy League university. With that background not only do my feet get healed we got in a damn fine discussion of Radius of Hollow (ROH) of hockey versus figure skating. How many of your doctors can make your painful day of minor surgery go easier by talking about ROH?

These feet, plus a scapael, plus some acid, and 2 weeks of limping. 

As my podiatrist hands me my socks he says, " I'm perfectly fine with a half inch ROH." 

"I like my 15/32 inch ROH perfect for the first time skating after a sharpening."

"My sharpener was my barber when I was a kid."

I laughed. "His skills with his blades, were they THAT good?" 

"He was a professional sharpener before he switched to barberin." He made wry grin."And he was a bookie. He used to cut my brother's hair too short on the left side while he took bets with the phone in his right hand."

 My sharpeners never did anything like that!!

Friday, March 17, 2023

What corner can I skate in?

 I'm back taking lessons, after the horrible 2023 winter, and multi-month closure of the rink for repairs, and I realize that have forgotten many  of the rink etiquette rules. Now I realize that I've forgotten which corners I can skate in without someone jumping into me. 

So I skate up to one of our adult male skaters , he who I know has a lutz and so must know the rules. So I confess, "It's been 3 years since I've been on ice regularly, and I've forgotten the lutz corner rule here. Which ones are clear to skate on?"

I saw him give me a big happy grin.I have a blog I write about rink etiquette and he read it when it was pre-covid, so I assume he's amused at my failure to remember. I'm okay that I'm so funny that I made someone so happy at the near end of the session

 He's really enjoying himself. 

The laugh gets even bigger.

"So, what's so funny?" I asked. 

His laugh finally stops. " I jump lefty. so I don't care."

He's just so so so HAPPY that he's ticked me off.

Someday I will get my revenge!