Monday, January 28, 2019

Almost Free of Pre-Free

I have passed all but one of the Pre-Free Skills.

Can you guess which one is left?

Oh, of course you can, it's the spin.

But as God is my witness, I will
never have to do that crossover, crossover, mohawk,
step behind, back cross, step forward into the circle
I admit only people over the age of 50
will recognize this picture and
remember the original quote.
So for a moment let's turn back to the spin. 

Me talking to my left spin

I'm not really getting anywhere on the left spin. I got issues. I tend to naturally put my weight on my right foot and while I can spin to the left, I'm stuck.  

So just messing around , I spin to the right. I'm better spinning to the right on one foot when I haven't  practiced it for more than five minutes in the last month, than I am after hours of practice spinning to the left in months.  The group coach gives me a couple of tips and it gets better.

My right spin talking to me
 So in order to pass Pre-Free, I'm going to have to switch sides.



Saturday, January 26, 2019

The Time of Year When I Hate People...on Ice

It's the middle of winter, and
the rink should look like this

 Ah, the flow of 'public skating rules'
But what it's like inside the circle

Crowded as heck and a girl's doing doubles into the people in lessons
Plus random hockey boys racing through the center
Scary as s**t

Thursday, January 24, 2019

Stages of Meltdowns

Ever have an ice rink melt down? You've fallen on the same jump the same way half a dozen times and it's not getting any better. Or you're trying to learn some new element like a back three and it's not getting better. Or someone keeps blocking your program even though it's your music and you have the 'in program' vest on.

You're ready for a meltodwn!

Meltdown Stage 1: Initial Frustration
You express frustration--but you're under control

Meltdown Stage 2: You begin to appeal to God for succor

Meltdown Stage 3: The arms get involved 
and sometimes the hair

Meltdown Stage 4: Headbanging

Meltdown Stage 5: Your coach is tired of your shit

At this point--she's going to make you do it anyway

Monday, January 21, 2019

Google+ is retiring..I'm switching to Facebook

So I've always sent a notice of my updates to Google + automaticlly,  but Facebook was more of a problem. I actually had to work to do that, so by the time I finished a post late at night--I just skipped Facebook.

Well, Google has announced that it will no longer be supporting Google +  after mid-Summer, so I must move on.

I have an Ice Doesn't Care Facebook page, and it's a little rough right now, but as the days pass, I'll get it running, although it's a little harder than I thought it would be.

To my followers on Google +, I thank you for following the blog. But when Google + dies, I think you can friend the blog over on Facebook. There are also a couple of other services that may meet your needs.

Saturday, January 19, 2019

Too Tired to Think---on Ice

In a group lesson -- the one where I'm the only student -- the coach told me to do a one foot spin.

So I do a proper set up and spin to the right. It's not a good spin, more of a revolutions. I only get a revolution and a half.

"That was a nice entry, but don't you spin to the left?" The coach asks.

"Oh, yeah, sorry." I set up again and this time I spin to the left on my RIGHT foot! Well, it was centered but it was like a single revolution.

The Coach gives me a funny look

She skates forward and smacks my left calf. "THIS leg, to the LEFT!'

This is what happens when you've been up since 2 am and it's 7 pm. But maybe my spins would be better if I lose track what I'm doing!

Sunday, January 13, 2019

The Really Nice Coach

All coaches are nice. But this new group coach is *really* nice.

If you remember I'm taking group lessons at a rink north of me, where I'm the only student in group...Yes, I'm paying $115 for essentially 8 private lessons. So, that's the equivalent of $15 a lesson...all by myself. So I signed up to rip off  at the rink for formal Pre-Free group yet again.

I show up the first session, with a different coach from last group (who was also a very nice coach). She has me run through the Pre-free skills.

Just like every other coach, she makes a comment when I do my mohawks. "A little bit of a scrape there." was her polite comment.

Oh dear God. What is the obsession figure skating coaches have with a little bit of a scrape from a bit of a blade drag when I'm doing a mohawk? Every coach I've ever had makes a comment about this. However, on the good side, I've heard this enough, that I'm inured to it.

Back cross overs to to a glide position. She switches me so I'm facing out of the circle, because I'm so strong at this point I just get on an edge and face in any direction and don't notice it's wrong. Next was back outside edge to a forward outside edge (the back outside mohawk). We have to shift the Basic four adults out of the center circle to give me enough space to get in a good solid glide before I do  a turn.  But I can nail this thing.

Then we do crossover, crossover, mohawk, step behind, back cross, turn forward into the circle. Now I learned this as crossover, crossover, mohwak, step behind, back step over, turn forward into the circle,  We had to have a couple of minute discussion, because I think at some point in the last 4 years, they changed the back step over, into a back cross. Anyway, I do it the new way because it's on the coach sheet.

"Sorry, that was a little chunky. It's been a couple of months since I did that." I apologize

"Trust me," she says, "Kids can't do it that well."


Notice that this is the patented expression of a coach teaching a Snow Plow Sam class!


Saturday, January 5, 2019

You're a real figure skater when.....

You know you're a real figure skater when you know what E6000 is and plan to spend a weekend stoning a dress.

And you can pronounce Swarovski Crystals Correctly



Thursday, January 3, 2019

What it takes for me to skate with a bunion

I have a bunion.
This is what it takes to skate pain free
Beware! Don't get old!

Count your blessing, this is not life sized.
When I finish skating!