Things I Hate on Ice. 6

What My Coach Is Teaching Me To Do

What I hear.

What happens as a result.

My whining excuse.

Ice Doesn't Care--2nd Year Blogiversary!

Can't believe I made two years!  I thought I'd run out of topics after a couple of months, then I realized I  could  cover things so trivial no other skater would touch them…and, of course, pictures of cats.

So, what were my most popular posts of the last year (based on page views) ?

The Six Stages of Adult Figure Skating thanks to Lori over at International Adult Ice Skaters for mentioning it.

Judges--Thinking Positive. Apparently a coach at Bowie Ice Rink (I don't know who) posted it on Facebook. Thanks!

My favorite posts of the last year?

Types of Coaches

The Great Skate Bag Debate,

The most popular posts involving cats…

When I'm the tallest skater on the ice.  I have to admit, the punchline on this was a lucky find.

String Theory for Figure Skaters

So, do you have a favorite post? Waiting to hear about it!

My motto for every lesson is as follows:

Grumpy High Level Coach Update

We have a Russian coach at my rink who is a high level coach. He's visited by up and coming skaters for a session or two about their technique or their program. Once (long ago) I heard Viktor Petrenko came to the rink to consult with him. So, very respected, very, very high level, and....a classic Russian frowny face.

Grumpy Coach as affected by
the horror of my skating

Anyway, he's my age or slightly older, and when I first skated past him leaning against the boards while he waited for his student, I put on my chipper face and said, "Good morning."  I mean, it was a reflex. I'm an old woman, he's an old guy. Something in my genetic code kicks in: Be nice to people your age.

He muttered something in Russian at me, and (I may be wrong) I don't think it was "Good Morning." Or anything even close to it. Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's the fact that I'm a perennial basic skills skater and my technique is so appalling that it offends the purity of his vision of figure skating.

In two other freestyles as I passed him the first time I'd reflexively say, "Good morning." Let me say, his response was not welcoming. After that, I quit.

Then shortly before I went to Lake Placid I was lap skating and thinking about my work. My expression looked like this.....

"The Glare"

I was absolutely focused on my skating, not thinking about anything but my skating, and I passed Grumpy Coach.

Without thought, I grunted, "Good morning."

Suddenly, a big smile crossed his face. "Good morning!" he boomed cheerily.

Things I Wish I Could Say: The Interrupted lesson

When someone comes up to talk to my coach when I'm in lesson. What I want to do:

Phase 1: The polite approach to getting them to leave

Phase 2:  The not so polite approach

Phase 3: The 'nobody crosses me twice' approach

(This picture is so wrong. Everyone knows the
Mitsubishi A6M had under fuselage
gun mounts.)

Coach Facial Expressions

I've found coaches actually have two facial expressions:

The "Happy You Got Your Axel" Face

And the "other" expression:

The polite "Well, let's try that again" Expression

The "other" expression is actually hiding deep emotional turmoil:

The skater's first failure:

"Aaaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhh! Why doesn't
 this kid do what I say to do!"

The fiftieth Failure:

The hundredth failure

With my issues regarding checking, Madam Mim ought to be reaching for the bottle right ..... about.... NOW!

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

I've had a number of coaches, and I've left some with no harm no foul separation. The usual reasons; the rink closed, the coach retired, long term injury, I moved to another rink.  Once I left a coach, shall we call it 'for cause'. This is awkward, but few people think about how to do this. I'm going to talk about my approach.

Some people aren't confrontational.  Believe it or not, I'm not confrontational. But when I make a decision, I don't dither around; I execute....and move on.

So in my case when I was thinking about leaving the coach, I had tried a negotiation first, which did not work. I then thought things out for a couple of weeks while making my decision.  The day I decide to announce my decision, I waited until the coach and I were on the ice at the beginning of the lesson. I paid my lesson fee first thing, then I said, "I'm not happy with XXX. I've decided to get another coach." I identified my reason in a tactful manner, "I'm giving two months notice, so the end date would be XXXX." After that point, the lesson fee was going not to my feet, but to discussion. I considered that a price to pay.

Some things I thought out before hand.

1. I made sure I had all my  bills paid before I make the announcement.  I had cash in my hand and paid the coach at the beginning of the lesson, so there would be no need to speak to each other afterwards if  tempers were high.

2. Know beforehand if you will agree to a negotiation with the coach over issues that concern you. Me, I was done.  But another skater with the same problem with the same coach decided to negotiate. The skater used the following formula,  "XXX is bothering me. If we can't resolve this issue, then I'll leave on XXX date."  This worked successfully for that skater.

3. I would never quit a coach 'for cause' with a phone call or an email. If I'm going to fire someone, I do it face to face if at all possible.  Yeah, I know it seems I sandbagged this poor coach, but my negotiation attempt had failed.  And remember I was giving TWO MONTHS notice. (On the other hand, when I left coaches because of injuries, I did it by email. Thanked them profusely, wrote glowingly of their thoughtfulness and skill, and hoped that sometime in the future we could skate again. When I'm injured, I figure coaches don't expect a personal visit under those circumstances, because if I'm not skating, I'm pretty much immobile. YMMV)

A professional shouldn't publicly hold a grudge.  The next time I saw the coach, my departure was water under the bridge.  We spoke casually and made polite inquiries to each other, and I complimented the coach's students. What was said about me in the pros room, no idea.

Don't feel bad for the coach. A new student was filling my slot within a half hour.
***
I know this kind of situation can be emotionally draining, but if you have the urge to vent about your coach on Facebook, show some class. Don't. Vent. Just say you're leaving your coach, and leave it like that.

Yeah, don't do this.

Picking a New Figure Skating Coach

So, I've recovered to the point where I'm coachable. Maybe not coachable in the sense of learning new skills, but coachable in the sense of recovering old skills.

I'm fortunate in that I know maybe 12 coaches personally; their strengths, styles, interests, locations, and student preferences. Some coaches are wonderful with kids, but have no interest in teaching adults. Other coaches will take adults, but aren't available for freestyles. (For me personally, that's an important point.) Others will take adults, but are more interested in students with higher skills. Not every coach can teach an adult basic skills. (Trust me on that one.) Individually, these are all wonderful coaches, but I'm looking for a coach who can take an adult with special 'kneeds', and teaches on freestyle.

This brought me down to three coaches of my acquaintance. What do I do next?

Which coach? Which coach?

Well, fortuitously I happened to see one of the coaches talking to one of her students in the booting up area on the bench across from me. I think she was 'firing' her. That sounds harsh doesn't it? It's the only way I can express it. Her student was a little girl of about 8 who wouldn't practice and just like to play around. So the coach and the father were counseling the daughter on how private lessons were a privilege and had to be earned through practice. Looks like there's an opening!

Geeze, I seem like  one of those New Yorkers who peruse the obituaries to find an apartment available for rent don't I?

Anyway, I'll approach the coach on Saturday to see if she has an opening, and see if she's willing to try me out for a couple of months.  Cross fingers I can get started learning again.

Coachless

Last year, after canceling several lessons first for back pain, and then after the knee went 'kablooey' (TM applied for)  I gave my coaches notice. It's been several months since I skated regularly, and today I finally think I'm ready for a coach to get me back into shape.

Let me be frank, I'm a weak enough skater now with one bad knee, that  it's going to be a long, long time before I get on public again (unless it's a summer, noon public) so since both my old coaches could only coach me on public, I'm looking for a new coach.

Right now the thought that some slack-jawed jackass who thinks he's God's gift to hockey, but who can't stop without slamming into the boards, will run into me, makes my blood run cold. Ditto for little kids kneecapping me. Or a teenager who will grab me on their way down.  I don't want to go into injured status yet again.

The last lesson I skated on public was a nightmare. It was the rink where I skated with Cruella. Publics there had very few ice tourists. What it had were adults and kids practicing furiously, oblivious to other skaters.  Think of it as an overcrowded high level freestyle combined with a hockey game. Hockey learners practicing patterns,  15 people in the jump and spin area,  people jumping and spinning in the end zones,  hockey guys hogging the corner circles,  coaches on the boards with their little kids, little kids where little kids go which is everywhere. And the sessions were absolutely packed.  Aaaaaargh!

Cruella had me in fast crossovers on the center circle, and no one is paying any attention to the fact that I'm going fast. I have my eyes moving, keeping on top of what the 14 other people inside the cones are doing, when a little girl skates into the coned off zone, directly in front of me and

falls...

Right.

Where.

My.

Free.

Foot.

Is.

Going.

To.

Land.

Ever have that moment where your brain has sent a signal to your leg, and your limb has started its action, then you need to change that action, and your. body. will. not. respond?  My brain is screaming to my leg "don't step down! don't step down!" but the "step down" message is first in the queue.  I can't override the "step down" message in time. We're talking fractions of a second here.  Fortunately, I was then strong enough that I was able to extend the crossover so that I didn't step on the little girl, but my blade did brush her jacket and I actually had to step over her in the cross!

When I think about it, I can still see that little pink jacket and feel the blade touch it. I don't think I could pull out of that step down now. And I'm not going to put myself back in that situation.

So freestyle skating only for me for now!

Unsung Heros of the Ice Rink: LTS Coaches

Imagine what it's like to be an LTS coach. The rink doesn't pay you much of anything, but the coach is held to professional standards. The hours are long, the work hard, and the coach represents the rink. Plus there's 'nightmare parents'! So, what does LTS possibly look like from the coach's point of view?

I thought you'd never ask.

First day, the booting up area looks like this...

Parents generally have no clue how to tie boots

 Then the buzzer sounds and the little monsters wonders pour onto the ice (blocking everyone getting off the ice from the previous class)....

Monsters vs wonders
Try to do a statistical analysis

"Hi, we're the adult learners' class!
We're going for beer after!
Wanna join us!"

For some reason a pre-Alpha kid has been put in a Delta class

And there's always a few kids that just want to skate--
really fast--that's all.

And the kid who cries for mommy

The little kid who just lies on the ice
and ignores the toys

The mother who watches from the boards--

The parent who distracts the kid the whole time
to take pictures--then complains she/he
never learns anything

Is it any wonder the coach has to put on a fake smile like this?

Welcome to the Pros Room

So your coach mysteriously appears on the ice or in the booting up area. Boots on, ready to skate.

You're puzzled.

You didn't see the coach come in and put on boots. Where did the coach come from?

The pro's room.

It where coaches go to change, store their gear, and ....well, get away from students. That means you.

It's the ice rink version of the Teacher's Lounge. You know, the place where students Do.Not.Go.

I was invited inside one once, to pick up some stuff I'd left in someone's car.

You know, I expected this:

I thought coaches would get treated with respect by management

But really it's more like this!

Except, it was more stinky!

Types of Coaches

I skate freestyle at several rinks. I've observed a lot of coaches, here are some of the more common types I've seen.

The Skating Director

The Cute Male Dance Coach

His harem of adult female ice dancers

The Screamer

The Coach who knows how to comfort a skater,
who just failed a test 

The Coach who holds the skater's attention 

The young, cute coach who's really, really good with kids in group

The coach who hates having anyone on the ice,
except his skater

Your Coach Showing You How

Missing a Lesson

So what happens when I miss a lesson?

Nope, I'm not talking about canceling a lesson. I'm talking about having a scheduled lesson I don't show up for.

It's happened to me four times. So on average, about once every 15 months.

1. Car Trouble
2. Coach taught at several rinks, and I went to the wrong rink
3. Absolute kerfuffle about dates and times
4. Canceled at the last minute due to traffic tie up.

What do I do?

I offer to pay for my missed lesson.

In the case of the car trouble I was able to give my coach a few hours warning and he didn't charge me. In the case of the wrong rink, I paid. In the kerfuffle about dates and times, the coach had a student before me, saw I wasn't on the ice and went home, as I was last student of the day. She didn't charge me. When I had to cancel due to traffic, I paid.

My job to be there on time, ready to skate. If I'm not, I offer to pay.

I'm rather astonished by the stories I hear from coaches about parents and their skaters who don't show up for lessons, sometimes for weeks in a row. I'm a little shocked by these stories. First off, that adults would think they can engage a professional then not treat them professionally; second, that coaches put up with it. But, none of my business how a coach conducts their business. I treat my coaches the way I'd like to be treated. Pay up if I show up or not, unless the coach is nice enough to give me a pass.

Well, maybe coaches don't need to be this tough.

Maybe coaches need Accountant Cat to keep parents in line

Stuff I Don't Put Up With Anymore

Part of learning from a coach is the business side of learning. I'm paying by the minute, I  expect attention by the minute. I practice, I show up on time, I'm ready to go. The coach should be too. Dance Coach is particularly good about this. If for some reason he has to step out of my lesson, when he returns he adds the missed time onto the lesson since I'm the last of the day. But I've had other coaches that either took advantage of me, or were unaware of their distractedness. I'm prepared to be businesslike about this.  Here's stuff I don't put up with anymore.

1. Making or taking phone calls in lessons.

Early on, I had a coach early on who had 'family emergencies' every lesson. She was always on the phone. I don't mean one phone call a lesson, I mean 2 or 3 every lesson. Which she would then describe to me--during lessons.


Coaches must love clueless beginners.  She was always apologetic for the calls, and I tolerated it. I wouldn't tolerate it now.

I have some 'only in my head' snappy replies that  I'd never use ("Every minute on the phone is a minute I'm not paying for.") But really, if this were to happen with a coach now, I'd do the math. If I think  I'm learning from them, then I'd have a businesslike talk with them. "I'm learning a lot from you. But you spend a lot of the lesson on the phone. You need to fix that."

The other option, is that if I didn't feel I was learning from the coach (and phone chatter on the coach's part can be indicative of that in my opinion), I'd now quit the coach.

2. The coach who talks to other coaches and doesn't pay attention to me

Yeah, this can happen occasionally. Even if my coach is talking to another coach (rink business) I think he or she should keep an eye on me. It's not deliberate inattentiveness. The coach is trying to be polite to the other coach and their attention is divided. Time flies. Suddenly, 5 minutes is gone and they now have their back to me.

I have one solution and I've only had to use it once. At the start of a lesson, after a couple of rinkside meeting incidents.  I told my coach, "Are you aware that when other coaches come up to talk to you, you don't watch my skating. Sometimes for minutes at a time?" The coach was shocked. It never happened again.

3. The group coach who focuses on one student

I was in a large adult group of 10. There was a coach and 3 assistants (older teens) for the class. It was a pleasant experience. Then one day the coach and all the assistants spent 10 minutes watching and encouraging one of the adult students in her sit spin. I quietly took the coach aside after the lesson and used the "Are you aware...." approach. It worked.

 I've never had a coach who denied what was happening. "Oh, I can keep my eye on you and talk on the phone." "No, Just because my back is to you I can still see you." "It's none of your business how I conduct my group classes."  But if I did get a coach like that: Vote with your feet, baby, Vote with your feet.

Selecting a coach

When the time comes that you decide you want a private coach,  I think you should look at yourself first, rather than the coaches. Ask yourself some questions.

 What's your goal with skating? Figures, hockey, dance moves? Knowing this can help you select a coach.

What's your commitment in time? Will you have time to practice? Or will you only skate during lessons? If you won't have time to practice, then look long and hard at yourself and your skating. You're going to need to practice. If you can't commit to practice, then getting a coach may not be the option for you. Just sayin', you might be wasting your money.

How much are you willing to spend?  It's not just the lesson cost, it's the ice time too. A rule of thumb, I've been told is 4 hours for every hour of coaching. Lot's of adults can't do that. Adults have commitments in time, and availability of ice. But 2 to 1 is still a useful planning ratio.

Is the ice time available? If you work, can you make time for lessons and practice? 

Once you have a sense of what you want, how much time and money you'll be able to spend, and your availability for practice, start looking for the person to be your coach.

1.  Are you ready for a private coach? Ask yourself that honestly.  Are your skills such that a coach would find you worth his/her time?  Would you actually be better off staying in group? If group is not working out, maybe a private coach plus group would be a good idea.
2. If you decide to go the  private route , have in mind either a number of lessons, or a period of time (say 3-6 months) as a trial period for your lessons. I've heard this called a try-out of a coach. Too short a time and the coach may not want to bother with you. 

3. Look at the available coaches. Do you like one of your group coaches? Lots of people go this route. Do you see a coach that teaches adults in the discipline you want? Another good option. Do any of your rink buddies have suggestions? 

4. Look the coach up on the bio page of the rink (if your rink has one). Find the lesson cost, and the skills listed. 

5. Have a lot of internal debates.

6. Pick one to approach. Ask the question.

I once switched rinks and approached the skating director about coach availability. (Failed to observe rule number 3-4, because I'd only been skating 6 months and didn't know how to get a coach) She snatched me up in a heart beat. It was not a good match.  I didn't obey rule number 2. I should have had a deadline.

After I broke my ankle and was off ice for a year, I returned to skating. What minor skills I had, were gone. The rink I had been at previously was gone now, so I went to Rink 2. I knew the rules now. I took my time.  I had two coaches in mind that I thought would work out. Both turned me down. Looking back, I think my post-injury skating was too awful. I should have just gone into group. Rule number 1.

Which is actually what happened. I went to Rink 3 and signed up for group. (Rink 2 disappeared. Literally. The roof collapsed under 6 feet of snow) I ran into a coach I knew from Rink 1 and we started lessons to supplement group. Then she decided to move to another part of the country. One day she said, "We need to think about another coach for you." She and I had been sharing the ice for 6 months with another coach and his students. He sounded pretty good (I could overhear him talking to his students), even though I'd never spoken to him, or even knew his name. "What about that guy?" I said pointing to him.

That's how I ended up with Dance Coach. See, perfectly planned out.