Breaking Up is Hard to Do

I've had a number of coaches, and I've left some with no harm no foul separation. The usual reasons; the rink closed, the coach retired, long term injury, I moved to another rink.  Once I left a coach, shall we call it 'for cause'. This is awkward, but few people think about how to do this. I'm going to talk about my approach.

Some people aren't confrontational.  Believe it or not, I'm not confrontational. But when I make a decision, I don't dither around; I execute....and move on.

So in my case when I was thinking about leaving the coach, I had tried a negotiation first, which did not work. I then thought things out for a couple of weeks while making my decision.  The day I decide to announce my decision, I waited until the coach and I were on the ice at the beginning of the lesson. I paid my lesson fee first thing, then I said, "I'm not happy with XXX. I've decided to get another coach." I identified my reason in a tactful manner, "I'm giving two months notice, so the end date would be XXXX." After that point, the lesson fee was going not to my feet, but to discussion. I considered that a price to pay.

Some things I thought out before hand.

1. I made sure I had all my  bills paid before I make the announcement.  I had cash in my hand and paid the coach at the beginning of the lesson, so there would be no need to speak to each other afterwards if  tempers were high.

2. Know beforehand if you will agree to a negotiation with the coach over issues that concern you. Me, I was done.  But another skater with the same problem with the same coach decided to negotiate. The skater used the following formula,  "XXX is bothering me. If we can't resolve this issue, then I'll leave on XXX date."  This worked successfully for that skater.

3. I would never quit a coach 'for cause' with a phone call or an email. If I'm going to fire someone, I do it face to face if at all possible.  Yeah, I know it seems I sandbagged this poor coach, but my negotiation attempt had failed.  And remember I was giving TWO MONTHS notice. (On the other hand, when I left coaches because of injuries, I did it by email. Thanked them profusely, wrote glowingly of their thoughtfulness and skill, and hoped that sometime in the future we could skate again. When I'm injured, I figure coaches don't expect a personal visit under those circumstances, because if I'm not skating, I'm pretty much immobile. YMMV)

A professional shouldn't publicly hold a grudge.  The next time I saw the coach, my departure was water under the bridge.  We spoke casually and made polite inquiries to each other, and I complimented the coach's students. What was said about me in the pros room, no idea.

Don't feel bad for the coach. A new student was filling my slot within a half hour.
***
I know this kind of situation can be emotionally draining, but if you have the urge to vent about your coach on Facebook, show some class. Don't. Vent. Just say you're leaving your coach, and leave it like that.

Yeah, don't do this.

Ready, Steady, Got! Or Not...

At times figure skating can be enormously frustrating. Kids sometimes lose their jumps as they grow. One day an adult can do a skill, and the next day not. Yeah, one day skating is ready, you're steady, you gots... and the next day....nots.

I've had that for the last few weeks with my three turns. I used to have nice ones. Not great, but consistent and I could do them with any foot, leg or arm position.

Today I saw Dance Coach leaning on the boards while he waited for Miss Cheerleader to warm up for their Gold Moves lesson. "How is your return to skating coming?" he was kind enough to ask.

"The knee and the hip," I waved my hands in frustration, "I'm going nowhere fast."

That was a hard statement to make. I must have looked really down. Dance Coach smiled sadly and said, "Skate safe."  What else could he say?

Five minutes later, I fell off my back edge in a 3 turn. I almost walked off the ice. What was I doing? This constant stream over the weeks of choppy three turns, no improvement,...

But I'd paid for the ice, so I skated to the other end of the rink to get away from the 'falling spot.'  'Falling spots' carry bad juju for a few minutes so it's best to skate away, just so it doesn't reach out and zap you. Yeah, I'm a doofus.

Other end of the rink, I do a FO3, and just as I'm about to do the turn I squeeze my thighs together. Bam! Perfect three turn with about 10 feet of glide, steady as a rock.

Rest of the session I'm doing outside threes with any foot, leg or arm position, either direction equally well. As long as I bring that free leg in so the thighs touch, I'm golden.

No idea what's going on, but...

Back in love with skating!

Six Stages of Adult Skating- Now Illustrated!

1. Disbelief

"You want me to do what with my foot and put it where while I'm doing this with my arms?"

2. Disorganization

"Okay, I got my foot there, now why can't I do that at the same time?"

3. Denial

"I don't care what coach says, nobody over the age of 9 can learn this."

4. Deliberation

"Well, maybe if I alter my hip position, thus, and add a little upper body swing...."

5. Dominate the Move!

"Ta-Da!"

6. Disbelief

"What does coach mean it's not perfect? Coaches, they're never happy."