Thursday, February 16, 2012

Skater's Butt

Don't have a badonkadonk? Want one? Take up figure skating.

And to think I took up this sport to slim my hips.

Even Michele Kwan despairs of her skater's butt. She says "it sticks out like a bubble".

But guys? Oh, wow, what skating does for a man's legs and body. I've never met an adult male skater yet that didn't look attractive as he was walking away from me. Not even the Big Guy and he weighed in at 280 at 6'3". I'm sixty, but I still notice (from a purely aesthetic point of view you  understand--honest). I totally don't get what this article is talking about. Sorry Gawker, that's how a man's tuchus is supposed to look. You thin pale little guys in skinny jeans living off of caffeine and Twinkies while you desperately type underpaid articles for that slavedriver GAWKER need to get out more and get some exercise. Preferably at the rink.

Once you skate enough, it is hard to find clothes. Spandex is my friend. Also catalogs that cater to women with small waists and curvy behinds. Unfortunately, most of these seem to be for women over 50, so those of you in your 20-40's probably won't find them useful.

What can you do? Well, women can find plenty of slacks  and some skirts with a bit of spandex in them. Ladies should avoid full skirts and pray that the dirndl never comes back into fashion. Men can wear slightly looser slacks. Although, gentlemen, if you've got doubles or triples, be proud. Wear what you  darn well please. Someone comments on your shape, look them in the eye and say, "Thank you." You earned that muscle.

Now for some science, here's some slow motion jump video from the early 90's. Notice how the force of the rotation actually is so strong that it deforms the skater's buttocks. That's a lot of force.

1 comment:

  1. Sigh... The positive side from the same MK article? -- "My coach Frank Carroll believes the cold air preserves your skin," says Kwan, "and you get fewer wrinkles."