Thursday, January 31, 2013

Hernando's Hut of Skating Requirements--Adult Skater Party

If we go to Hernando's Hut of Skating Requirements, we find everything arranged perfectly for the adult skater: perfect ice, select coaches, masseuses, warming rooms, and also the perfect adult skating party.

So, earlier the adult skating party came up in the post on Birthday Parties at the Rink. This resulted in some discussion in the comments, and I've had time to think about it. Today I'm going to lay out what I think a perfect skating party would be like.

1. Saturday. Right before public. I have my reasons.

2. Lots of male figure skaters. So shoot me, I like watching men figure skate. Towards me, away from me, jumping, ice dancing. Whatever. I have a friend, the Big Guy, 6'3", 280 lbs. Beautiful edges. Skating backwards into a jump entrance, he's the sexiest thing alive. So must have guys at party.

3. Complete control of the music box by party members. No manager in some office somewhere running it like a public.

4. Ice resurfaced immediately before party time.

5. Large sign on the gate: "Private Party. No Kids Allowed." The gate will be closed. Hockey boys entering the ice will be picked up by male figure skaters and unceremoniously dropped back on the matting and the gate slammed in their face.

6. Guest Coach. This is tricky, as many of my skating friends are coaches already. So, figuring out how to hold a fun group class when some of the partiers are coaches, well, the only thing I can think of is make it a dance coach and let the other coaches be partners to the uninitiated.

7. Guess Coach must be happy and cheerful.

So, happy coach
NOT,  grumpy coach

8. Brunch after skating

9. Drinkies!
Not this kind of drunken revelry
More like, sophisticated revelry

And why do I want the party to be right before public? Because I want all the public skaters to see adults skating, having classy food, and sophisticated fun! They will ENVY us!

"Mary, I think we need to take skating lessons
so we can have fun like that!"


  1. I've just come home from a very uninspiring session at the rink. Legs just weren't there today. Fell heavily after a botched RFI3 and bashed my right knee (again). Sophisticated revelry and/or the drunken kind have a certain appeal. Right now I'm working on my second glass of merlot, rubbing my knee and sort of listening to the weather channel bleat about an approaching snow event. Bring on Hernando.

  2. I'm in.

    GIve me a date & location and I'm there.

    Happy to renew my passport and fly from the land downunder just for this.

  3. I would be willing to road-trip to such a party! Sounds like such a wonderful idea. Hopefully you will inspire somebody to run with this idea. Some rinks may not allow the alcohol, but done right it would still be a really fun event.

    1. Have to share my capcha - "icecogr"! Mmrrow! Where's my clingy cougar print dress? Now, on towards those young, male skaters! :-)

    2. At my age a 'young, male skater' would be in his 40's! :-)

  4. I need an invite! I have connections; food and wine on me, and it will be damn good!

  5. I would so love to be at this party.

  6. Consider me there!! I will bring champagne as that is my drink of choice.