The Perfect Skate Bag

The perfect skate bag is winging its way to my humble abode.

What makes a bag perfect is a matter of personal discretion. Serious skaters with lots to haul to comps and to the rink everyday started using Zucas. Soon 8 year olds craved Zucas because 'just everyone' (the good skaters) has one. (Maybe there should be a rule 'No zuca til you get your axel')  Other skaters have other needs. Coaches use suitcases.  There's the tote bag contingent. The no bag group. And the Transpackers.

I'm a duffel girl.

But not just any duffel. It has to meet my strict engineering standards. It's a functional object not a fetish.

a. It's a duffel--just the right shape for carrying boots
b. Pockets on each end--to put my protective gear
c. HARD BASEPLATE--to keep the bag from sagging in the middle when I carry it with the boots inside
d. FEET--to keep it off the floor, saves wear and tear on the bottom, and keeps it above wet spots
e. U shaped opening for the middle section--big enough to put skates through
f. No less than 22" long and 11 wide and 11 " tall--that's what my present bag is, so those are minimum dimensions. No bigger than 25" long-it gets too heavy
g. Costs less than $30 (USD)

I can't tell you how many times I trolled eBags, and Zappos, and Amazon.  At one point I was this >< close to buying a Hartman club bag (it was perfect) but it violated rule g.

Anyway, the other day I was trolling around eBags. I don't remember how I found it (unlike Zappos ebags won't let you search on terms like 'duffel feet') but I found the perfect bag!

Voila! The Calpak 22" Hollywood duffel.

22x12x12

 

 It meets every requirement! I never thought I'd find one which would!

Some nice things: there's a handle on the end for pulling the bag out of overhead bins or the trunk, some extra small zippered utility pockets for small stuff, that wavy ribbon in the front will come in handy for clipping pens and my carabiner clips or hair clips to.

Extra bonus. No interior pockets (they get in the way). Doesn't have one of those stupid shoe pockets either.

Total with shipping: $23.95.

My little bag junky soul is satisfied

source

Ice Dance is not for Sissies

I once heard Dance Coach lay down the law.

The (metaphorical) descendant of Russian soldiers who held off the Nazis in WWII and Napoleon, when Dance Coach is wrathful, it is a mighty wrath. In a voice that would have made Gregory Zhukov proud he tore into a half dozen 20 year old hockey boy slackers who were sitting on the boards and disrupting his lesson. He had told them to get out of the hockey box and off the boards once; when he went back the second time his voice had the bite, force, and threat of a high quality top kick. He would have made an excellent sergeant.

(And this is the same man who complains when I use my command voice to get some kid to wake up and move out of our way.)

There cannot be too much military history and military minutiae in figure skating blogs. Just sayin', you want the twinkly little princess shtick go read another blog. This blog here is for serious grownups who are serious skaters.

This is ice dance--we take no prisoners. SKATE OR DIE!
(Oooh, Nice extension there on the grenade throw. )

Uh, sorry, got carried away there for a moment.

Dr. Death is waddling into the Building

As part of the spring ice show, I have been selected to be Death--Destroyer of Worlds. Since commercial costume sizes run very small I have to wear a Plus size costume. Right now I feel like Muffin---Destroyer of Waistlines.

We had our first practice last week at Big City Rink with the director, Coach Amazing, going over the basic dance steps for the block of skaters. Recruiting is still going on and we don't know how many adults will participate.  My role as Death---Destroyer of Worlds, is to use a hockey stick  to lead the zombie orchestra, and use the stick to 'sweep' the star performers into their turns as their time comes up. It's a character role. I skate around a lot and wave my arms.

My job is to be a ham.

I can do that.

The problem is the hockey stick.

I've done this role before at Lake Placid and I practiced with the stick there. But my role was very small. I hung around the boards and shook it 'evilly' at people. Then at cue one  I skated in the center, did a slow two foot spin and slammed the stick down on cue two. This time there's more skating.

But no place to practice with that stupid stick. The stick is sized to the player. Do you know how tall most players are? How short I am? I need a child's stick. Not very threatening.

So I'm a little concerned with the stick. Under the press of time, I consulted Coach Cruella who said 'hold it this way' then 'no, this other way'.  And in the end I was no more certain than before.  I may end up having to consult Dance Coach at HockeyTown Rink who apparently skates on the 'losingest' recreational hockey team in the HockeyTown area. Other hockey players at the rink rave about his skating. "OMG. It's amazing the stuff he does!" They'll say then go on to describe some trivial figure skating thing--like a three turn into some mohawk to a back three into a power crossover. In their eyes he's this amazingly fluid hockey skater instead of an amazing fluid ice dancer in a jersey.  I asked him about this one time. "So, does your skating background make you good at hockey?" He rolled his eyes, "No stick skills." 

But do you know how to hold one?

Coach Amazing wanted me to wear a hockey jersey over my costume. So, NO. First off I'm paying for the costume myself and hockey jerseys cost Real Money. And don't come in petites. I said I'd make a fake jersey and put a fake emblem on the back.


Then we were stumped. We skate at the Big City practice rink for an NHL team. Which is better (politically)? Put the local hockey team's emblem on the back or a rival hockey team's emblem on the back?  Coach Amazing grabbed Notable Bob to ask his opinion.

He said, "Well, there's the Flyers. We have a rivalry with the Flyers. And the emblem is black and white." a pause. "Or the Penguins."

I was a little surprised by my visceral reaction. "I am not skating as a Penguin. I already look enough like a penguin!"

They do have the most adorable emblem though. It makes you want to go out and hug a hockey player.

Hug a Player.

So back of the costume, still undetermined. Pretty sure though, I'm not going to waddle away in my Plus sized costume with a penguin on the back.

Edit: For those interested, there will be a skull on the back......Maybe.