Saturday, May 23, 2015

The Sea of Little Kids Vs The Rink Gate

In my normal life, I never see little kids.

In my skating life I'm surrounded by a sea of little kids.

So, it's the end of kid LTS and I'm standing near the closed gate, while I talk to the assistant skating director. The bell rings indicating the end of kid LTS. Suddenly, there's a herd of unsteady, very short little skaters trying to open the gate. And they can't manage the latch from the inside.

I turn to look for the assistant skating director, but she's disappeared. Coward.

Honestly, the only adults left in my general area of the gate are gormless parents who aren't doing squat. So, I, the only adult within 15 feet (where did all the other adult skaters go?) step up to the gate to open it.

I open the outside latch to open it, and as I do a bazillion little kids from the inside start to push their way out, and a bazillion kids on the outside start to push their way in.


There's a little girl that wasn't there a second ago, putting her guards behind the gate, and if I let those kids push open the gate they'll slam it right on her fingers and crush them.

Because of the rink noise, I have to yell at the kids on the inside, "STOP PUSHING!"

I tell the little girl, "GET OUT FROM BEHIND THE GATE!"

She says "Someone will steal my guards!"

I'm actively leaning against the gate to keep it from slamming into her tiny, little fingers. "GET OUT FROM BEHIND THE GATE!" a half turn to face the kids on the inside, 'STOP PUSHING!"

I swear to God, that little girl continues to fiddle with her guards. "MOVE IT!"

Finally, she moves. I open the gate and set it against the boards. Little kids flow on and off the ice, pushing each other aside.

As I watch the kids around me I'm filled with a sense of satisfaction. I'll get my revenge ; someday these kids will pay for my Social Security.

1 comment:

  1. Some of the gormless parents are already funding my sociable security right now even though I continue to work!