Saturday, November 15, 2014

The Trifecta of Evil in Figure Skating

Do you know what a trifecta is? It's either: A bet in which the bettor must select the first three placegetters of a race in the order in which they finish, OR, a set of three related things, often things that cause problems.

Guess which one I'm talking about? Yep, THREE related things that CAUSE PROBLEMS.

New Boots
New blades
New sharpening.
Every body know what it's like to skate with a fresh sharpening. It's like tying bricks to your feet and trying to skate on wet sand. Once I start going it's impossible to do a snow plow stop. Instead, if I'm not careful, I just plow into whatever is ahead of me.
Thank god I had a decent T-stop

And if you want to make it a quadfecta, you can add WINTER PUBLIC HELL FILLED WITH ICE TOURISTS!
Ice tourists on winter public
 OMG, the souls of the damned ice tourists were everywhere, and apparently all seemed to be in my way.

"Let's see your back crossovers in these new skates," Miss Bianca said cheerfully. Of course.

Back crossovers, great. Back stops....non-existent. Any little kid that gets in my way is going to get squashed because I have no ability to stop going backwards. And frankly, if you can't be bothered to stay out of my way in the center, while I'm in lesson, you deserve to be squashed...

This is the part of new skates/blades/sharpening I hate. The 3 hours of skating it takes be to get used to having a rocker, wear down the new sharpening, and get the boots to fit are just the beginning of a month from hell to get comfortable with everything, then I NEED ANOTHER SHARPENING!

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