Breaking Up is Hard to Do

I've had a number of coaches, and I've left some with no harm no foul separation. The usual reasons; the rink closed, the coach retired, long term injury, I moved to another rink.  Once I left a coach, shall we call it 'for cause'. This is awkward, but few people think about how to do this. I'm going to talk about my approach.

Some people aren't confrontational.  Believe it or not, I'm not confrontational. But when I make a decision, I don't dither around; I execute....and move on.

So in my case when I was thinking about leaving the coach, I had tried a negotiation first, which did not work. I then thought things out for a couple of weeks while making my decision.  The day I decide to announce my decision, I waited until the coach and I were on the ice at the beginning of the lesson. I paid my lesson fee first thing, then I said, "I'm not happy with XXX. I've decided to get another coach." I identified my reason in a tactful manner, "I'm giving two months notice, so the end date would be XXXX." After that point, the lesson fee was going not to my feet, but to discussion. I considered that a price to pay.

Some things I thought out before hand.

1. I made sure I had all my  bills paid before I make the announcement.  I had cash in my hand and paid the coach at the beginning of the lesson, so there would be no need to speak to each other afterwards if  tempers were high.

2. Know beforehand if you will agree to a negotiation with the coach over issues that concern you. Me, I was done.  But another skater with the same problem with the same coach decided to negotiate. The skater used the following formula,  "XXX is bothering me. If we can't resolve this issue, then I'll leave on XXX date."  This worked successfully for that skater.

3. I would never quit a coach 'for cause' with a phone call or an email. If I'm going to fire someone, I do it face to face if at all possible.  Yeah, I know it seems I sandbagged this poor coach, but my negotiation attempt had failed.  And remember I was giving TWO MONTHS notice. (On the other hand, when I left coaches because of injuries, I did it by email. Thanked them profusely, wrote glowingly of their thoughtfulness and skill, and hoped that sometime in the future we could skate again. When I'm injured, I figure coaches don't expect a personal visit under those circumstances, because if I'm not skating, I'm pretty much immobile. YMMV)

A professional shouldn't publicly hold a grudge.  The next time I saw the coach, my departure was water under the bridge.  We spoke casually and made polite inquiries to each other, and I complimented the coach's students. What was said about me in the pros room, no idea.

Don't feel bad for the coach. A new student was filling my slot within a half hour.
***
I know this kind of situation can be emotionally draining, but if you have the urge to vent about your coach on Facebook, show some class. Don't. Vent. Just say you're leaving your coach, and leave it like that.

Yeah, don't do this.

Don't Forget Your Boots!

Ever forget your boots before a competition? Or driving to the rink?

Here's an absolutely easy way to never forget them again.

It will cost you $1.

So 3 times in 2 months I left my boots at home. I used to put my boots in the back seat of the truck, where I could see them. But when I got a sedan, I put them in the trunk.  And 3 times I drove off, leaving them in the living room. It was summer and I didn't like leaving my boots in the back seat, getting all hot and ruining the leather.

And if you're hauling a number of people to the rink, you may not have room in the back seat for the boot bag and have to put it in the trunk.

Here's my solution for never forgetting your boots again.

Go to the Dollar Store and buy a slap bracelet.

Put the bracelet on the handle of your boot bag.

When you put the bag in the trunk of the car, take the bracelet off the boot bag, and put it around one of the spokes of the steering wheel. If you have multiple people with boot bags, everyone gets a different color. When you get home put the slap bracelet back on the bag. Easier and faster than any other solution I could think of.

No slap bracelet, your skates are in the house!

There, I've just saved you a wasted trip to the rink!

Rink Collapses in Bad Weather

Usually I reserve Sundays for funny stories, but Hurricane Sandy is due to hit the US East Coast this week. Respecting that, I decided to go for a safety related post. I spent years working as a volunteer in Disaster Preparedness, it gives you a certain mindset.

Stay safe everyone. Prepare for loss of power. Remember, canned food can be eaten even if it's cold (have a manual can opener handy), get a flashlight not candles (a house a block from me burned down because the owner wanted to amuse her kids by using candles in the last big hurricane--10 years later it's finally getting rebuilt), don't open your refrigerator unless you have to (in order to keep the cold in), and if you see anything worth videoing--you'd probably be better off finding someplace safer to be. If your house has trees near it, don't stay on the upper floor if the storm is likely to blow a tree down on your house.  Have suitable clothing on. If you think you'll have to walk out of your house, have an emergency kit ready to go. Have cash. Keep your cellphone charged and your car's gas tank full. Be ready to live without power for 3 days. Don't dither.

But what about ice rinks in bad weather? Anyone on the East Coast worrying about their ice rink not surviving the storm?

Rink roof collapses due to heavy winter snows surprisingly are not that uncommon. I can imagine that a hurricane will also do damage. So, in general, what's it like being in an ice rink when it collapses?

Hallowell, Maine ice rink after collapse

Well, here's a video of a rink in Slovakia when it collapsed. As far as I know, everyone walked away (there was a youth team in the rink for a game). (Article) All the adults seem to be organized and effective in getting everyone out of the building. And, just a note, I'll never think about the boards and the barriers the same way again.

Even scarier is the collapse of a rink in Pennsylvania where the ice resurfacer was on ice when the roof went and the police called out cadaver dogs.  Or what about the one in Maine, where 'they felt the rink shake'.

Fortunately, most rink collapses are without loss of life. There are a couple of notable exceptions--Bad Reichenhall in Germany comes to mind with charges of managerial negligence being made. I believe the collapse occurred during what we would call public sessions. Given the inexperience of most skaters on public and the number of people on ice, it may have been impossible to clear the ice before the roof collapsed. In all the cases I read of where there was no loss of life, the people on ice were all experienced skaters.

In several cases I read about, there was mention of a loud snap or sound like a gunshot shortly before the collapse as structural members gave way. In most of the cases there appeared to be enough warning to get people off the ice (provided they were people who skated regularly) before the roof completely gave away. Usually it was only a short period of time (perhaps a couple of minutes or less), but one rink took several hours before the roof caved in. This last rink appeared to be an exception.

What's my survival plan?
Don't Panic. Don't Dither.
Know where the emergency exits are.
Get off the ice and out of the building if possible and next to an exterior wall if not possible, or at least get next to the boards where there's some barrier above it. Inside the boxes also might be survivable. In some cases the lobby might be under a separate roof structure than the rink. That may be safe as well.
As an adult skater, help others that need it. In other words, be a grownup and don't panic.

Or move to some state without snow. Texas has some nice rinks.

Take care in the storm and be safe!

Skating Etiquette for the Complete Beginner

How to Behave on Public Ice

First Rule Of All: Don't hang around in one place. This is called camping out, or hogging the circle. Yeah, this means you, you hockey adult learner practicing your back and forward crossovers on a hockey circle for 30 minutes.

Let me explain, just because your coach teaches you on a hockey circle there's no reason that you have to spend your entire practice time on one. Try alternating back and forward crossovers down the rink. That get's you moving. I can assure you, that once you pass the pre-Bronze adult test you will never skate crossovers in a circle again. Get your butt moving. That's how you'll learn to skate.

Second Rule of All: Don't hog a spot on the boards. Need some support on the boards for a new element? Sweetie, you don't own the boards. Move after you've done a few.  And when you move check traffic by looking both ways!

Third Rule of All: Yes, even as a beginner you can skate in the center. But the law of survival demands you keep your eyes open when you do this. There will be people jumping into the center and wanting to spin there. Be respectful of the other skaters--go to the center to work, not to chat. Don't hog the line, the circle or the center. Leave that up to the teenagers. If you're a regular, or you look like you have power/skills/or are a serious skater, they'll generally give you room (but when you get to that point, you won't need this post. Just relax, that day will come when the teenagers will give you space.)

Fourth Rule of All: Don't swear in an ice rink.  You can't say the D word, or the F word, or the S word around kids. It doesn't matter that the kid's parents are slack jawed yokels that can't string a sentence together without using the F word as a non-specific intensifier, you're not supposed to swear.

Corollary: If the F word slips out after a crash, no one will notice because the music is so loud. Your coach will look shocked though.

Fifth Rule of All: Don't skate drunk. Yep, I've seen it. One woman was doing drunk baby toe loops during a holiday skate, then she came over and clutched at Dance Coach while babbling about not being drunk. "Old girlfriend?" I asked drily after she skated away. He shuddered, "Never saw her before."  

Corrollary: If you say "I'm not drunk," you are. And the good looking coach is not your old boy friend.

Sixth Rule of All: Enjoy your skate. It's easy to become obsessed or frustrated with some element, or lack of progress. Take some time off and do stuff you like. If you're reading this blog, you're not going to the Olympics, you're skating for fun. Have some.

Seventh Rule of All: Even if all you can do is skate and stop, you're in the top 50% of all the skaters on public. It's your job to look out for them.  Be aware of your surroundings. Don't skate backwards unless you can look behind you, or have a spotter. When entering traffic, look both ways. Don't stare at the ice while you're skating, look ahead at the other skaters, so you can avoid them. It's a lot like driving. Drive Defensively. Skate Defensively.

Eighth Rule of All: Well, this isn't so much a rule, as a suggestion. If you're a regular at a rink, learn the rink guard's and desk staff's names. Be nice to them.

Public skate is for the public. Just about the only enforced rule is to follow the direction of traffic. For all the rest you're on your own!

Rink Tips

Sometimes I come across a tip that's so amazingly simple that I gasp at how foolish I was to miss it in the first place. And yet, the simple tip solves some annoying off-ice issue that bugs me.

Problem:
Soakers go missing.
I get off the ice, pull my shoes out of the bag and can't find the soakers. I open the end pockets of the bag and find one, then find the other one on the floor across the boot area. Meanwhile I've got one boot on and one boot off, so I have to limp across the rubber and get my feet wet.

Tip
Put the soakers in your shoes before you put them in the bag.
I know. I mean, amazingly simple! Problem solved!
(I got this one off skatingforums.com)

Problem:
My gloves, rags, stockings, arm warmers, and wrist guards not only float around the bag, they go to visit the soakers on the other side of the rink. And sometimes stuff disappears.

Tip
I bought one of those zip-up mesh lingerie bags used to wash bras. I can stuff everything in there, and not only does it dry out in there, a couple of times a month when I get home I just toss it into the washer and wash everything in the cool cycle along with my clothes.

Problem:
Gloves don't match.

Tip:
Well, you can always buy gloves of all the same color, but I don't even bother. I solved this one by not worrying about it. If I'm down to one glove I just go get another glove of any color out of the glove box at home. If I find a glove floating around the house, I toss it into the glove box. Yes, nothing says figure skater like the fact you have a 'glove box'.

Problem:
You have to take your gloves off to use your phone.

Tip:
You can buy expensive special gloves, or even conductive thread, but an alternative is to buy the cheapest special gloves possible*. I've used theses and they work as well as the expensive gloves. You can sometimes find them in the 5 And Below stores in the winter. And if you've established a reputation as a glove rebel, it won't matter if one glove doesn't match. You just keep one at home as a backup.

Got a tip? Please share the wealth!

* If you look carefully, you'll see you can get these for $4.50 from 'other sellers'.