Sunday, November 19, 2017

Things Only Figure Skaters Understand: The Skills You Hate Practicing

When your coach asks you to demonstrate a certain skill and  you've been avoiding it

And you know your coach is going to make you do them...
over and over and over
You were expecting the "Mracle on Ice" 'again' gif.

In my case it's the hockey stop. I haven't even attempted one since the Jurassic age. So my coach makes me demonstrate them. "Those are perfectly fine," she says. So hockey stops appeared out of nowhere.

I wish my brackets and back 3's would appear out of nowhere too. #SIGH.
 

Saturday, November 18, 2017

Panic Mode!!!

I've been away on business for two weeks, and only had a chance to skate for one hour.

The day I get home, I get an email from the rink reminding me that the the Holiday show is Monday.






I desperately text another skater with a "WTF?!! Show is Monday?!! I don't even have my costume yet! I thought it was a month from now!"


About an hour later I get a reassuring text that show IS next month after all, no matter what the rink said.

 Today, the corrected email from the rink came out.

Also today, the choreographer had about 6 of us show up on public for her to practice with. Then after that, she stayed with my coach and me to go over some stuff. And I got my costume. XXL -- Dance sizing, what can I say.

The choreographer had taken out the quick two foot turns backwards and forwards in a group circe lthat I'm really good at. #SadMe.

BUT! I'm really good at the attitude spirals. Thanks, Coach! 


Status Report
I'm in the 'slow group' so don't expect me to ever reach "Bow Down to me Bitches"
I expect to peak at "I'm not so bad"







Sunday, November 12, 2017

Introduction to looking Awkward on Ice

At the end of my lesson my coach tells me to do a two foot sit spin.

I mean, the first one I did was more of a 'crouch spin'. I din't get anywhere near to a  'sit'.

"Your nose is too far forward, " she said, "Keep it no further forward than your knee. And try to actually SIT."
Probably something like this
Go here to see this in slo-mo
It's sort of like sit spin porn
Okay, okay. I get into a slow two foot spin, lower my ass toward the floor, bend my knees to the point where I think 'If I go any further, I'll need an X-ray" then I went beyond that (still rotating), and lifted my foot.  Maybe, there was a half or 3/4 rotation with one foot raised.

There was shocked silence from my coach. "I didn't think you could lift your foot." So, that probably means she'll be putting 'sit spins' in lesson rotations.

"Well, I can't actually stand UP from one foot though". Just to kill the idea I can do sit spins and keep them out of lesson rotation. There's a subtle war going on there.


After lesson, my coach told me about the time she was doing a sit spin and her old, broken down boot gave away and she fell off the edge, slamming her face into the ice. She was black and blue on one side of her face.

"Why did you tell me that?" I ask. "I could be traumatized."

She didn't actually roll her eyes , but came close. "Oh, don't worry, your boots are nowhere NEAR broken down enough for that to happen."

Honestly. I've been thrown off horses, any fear of a spin-faceplant is just silly. But part of my mind went "Wait! Wait! IT COULD STILL HAPPEN!" for about 30 seconds anyway. Then I shrugged it off. Hearing dramatic fall stories is just part of the sport.