Some people aren't confrontational. Believe it or not, I'm not confrontational. But when I make a decision, I don't dither around; I execute....and move on.
So in my case when I was thinking about leaving the coach, I had tried a negotiation first, which did not work. I then thought things out for a couple of weeks while making my decision. The day I decide to announce my decision, I waited until the coach and I were on the ice at the beginning of the lesson. I paid my lesson fee first thing, then I said, "I'm not happy with XXX. I've decided to get another coach." I identified my reason in a tactful manner, "I'm giving two months notice, so the end date would be XXXX." After that point, the lesson fee was going not to my feet, but to discussion. I considered that a price to pay.
Some things I thought out before hand.
1. I made sure I had all my bills paid before I make the announcement. I had cash in my hand and paid the coach at the beginning of the lesson, so there would be no need to speak to each other afterwards if tempers were high.
2. Know beforehand if you will agree to a negotiation with the coach over issues that concern you. Me, I was done. But another skater with the same problem with the same coach decided to negotiate. The skater used the following formula, "XXX is bothering me. If we can't resolve this issue, then I'll leave on XXX date." This worked successfully for that skater.
3. I would never quit a coach 'for cause' with a phone call or an email. If I'm going to fire someone, I do it face to face if at all possible. Yeah, I know it seems I sandbagged this poor coach, but my negotiation attempt had failed. And remember I was giving TWO MONTHS notice. (On the other hand, when I left coaches because of injuries, I did it by email. Thanked them profusely, wrote glowingly of their thoughtfulness and skill, and hoped that sometime in the future we could skate again. When I'm injured, I figure coaches don't expect a personal visit under those circumstances, because if I'm not skating, I'm pretty much immobile. YMMV)
A professional shouldn't publicly hold a grudge. The next time I saw the coach, my departure was water under the bridge. We spoke casually and made polite inquiries to each other, and I complimented the coach's students. What was said about me in the pros room, no idea.
Don't feel bad for the coach. A new student was filling my slot within a half hour.
I know this kind of situation can be emotionally draining, but if you have the urge to vent about your coach on Facebook, show some class. Don't. Vent. Just say you're leaving your coach, and leave it like that.
|Yeah, don't do this.|