Saturday, August 13, 2016

The Kid Magnet...On Ice

So, I want to compare one tiny aspect of my skating on practice ice to the skating of Badass Skater. He's a much better skater than I am, has jumps and back threes, and rockers and counters, and he sharpens his own skates. I admire his skating, and his technique, blah-blah-blah. Nice guy, grandfather of two, and even gave me fuzzy soakers for my 65th birthday. He's one of those great adult skaters at my rink who treat me with kindness, don't skate into me, or tease me for my lousy skills.

So, the story begins...

I skate into a wide open empty space on practice ice and instantly I am surrounded by little kids skating DIRECTLY AT ME AS IF THE POWER (snort) OF MY SPINS SUCKS THEM TOWARDS Me.

 Then, in a moment when no one is aiming at me, I glance down the rink and see Badass Skater jumping into a small empty spot. MAGICALLY, the skaters in that area flow away as if he has some mystic power to clear the ice for his landing glide. They don't look his way, they don't notice him, the just...move away. He does a lovely glide, does a back three, and in his wake the skaters flow back into the space.

This does not happen to me.

I'm a target for kids. I'm always about to be squashed by tiny terrors.

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