The Mini-Drama at the Rink--Game of Thrones Style

Back in 2012, I failed my Canasta Tango test, my knee went kablooey, and I not only quit ice dance I quit skating for several months.

Kablooey. I took an arrow to the knee.

When I left, Dance Coach said, "I don't like to see students quit after failing a test, when you're ready I take you through the test again."

After the months off ice and I came back to skate with Miss Bianca, Dance Coach said once again, "I'll take you through the Canasta Tango, I don't like to see people quit on a fail."

I mean, I smiled and nodded, but I was done with ice dance. I don't think I had a feel for the dance, or maybe, my skills weren't there. I expected to just do freestyle and maybe do some comedy programs for ISI.

But, damn....

I missed ice dance.

I missed swing rolls, and progressives, chasse's, and someone bitchin' in a Russian accent in my ear about how sucky my power was.

So, I talked to Miss Bianca and today she started re-teaching me the Canasta Tango. I thought if I mastered the steps, I'd go to Dance Coach and ask him to take me through the re-test.

It was a secret. The people who know are not supposed to tell Dance Coach.

It turns out, I'm just as slow today to learn the steps as I was in 2012. On the other hand I have some damn fine progressives right out of the gate. And it was just like old-times skating around tiny little bodies on public. "Hey, I didn't kill anyone!" is my mantra after every pattern. Although it was hard to hold myself back when there was an adult figure skater in my way  not to mouth, "You gonna get your ass out of my way?" And a freestyle woman and I passed so close that I could feel the wind off of her.

Then Miss Bianca and I are in the center working on progressive, stroke, slide chasse', swing roll, stroke slide chasse'. And as I'm doing the last slide chasse' I see Dance Coach skating towards us.

Dance Coach never skates public on Sunday. I've been here for years and he's never there on Sunday. Not One Time.

He looks at me. He knows the pattern of the Canasta Tango. He know what I'm doing....and I haven't talked to him about it.

I get...a look.

Oops.

I Finally Use My 'Previously Owned' Zuca

Earlier this year I bought a Zuca frame and insert for $25 at my club's semi-annual used equipment sale. I didn't know if I would ever use it, but really, for $25 it was a steal. So I bought a new insert for it, and it sat in  my  'figure skating room' (second guest room) for a few weeks.

I just started using it because LTS is so crowded, that it's hard to find a place to sit. The women in freestyle want me to join them in the 'ADULT FREESTYLE CIRCLE OF THE SACRED FIRE'. But they all have Zuca's and (again with the crowding) I have to find a spot on the bench to sit where the CIRCLE OF THE SACRED FIRE is seated on their Zucas.

So, this week I packed my skates and gear in the Zuca bag and started hauling it around to practices.

Below is a picture of my review:

Reason 1: It doesn't support my Pack It As You Take It Off Philosophy. I don't like the fact that it's natural to put the skates in first (on the bottom) and the other stuff I want to put in the main compartment goes on top of my skates. So I have to be careful not to put too much stuff in the main compartment so there's a lot of wasted space above my skates.
Temp Fix for this: I have to leave my skates out, pack all my other stuff in their vented bags, pile them on the bottom and then put the skates in on top of them. This means I have stuff spread out all over the place, rather than the natural method of 'pack it as you take it off'.
Real Fix to This: I'm going to find one of those locker shelves that fits the main compartment, and set it up so that I can put my skates right in on top of the shelf, and then pile the other stuff under the shelf. This way, I can pack it as I take it off.

Reason 2. The side mesh areas look as flimsy as hell. I have a vented bag for my knee and hip pads and I'm afraid all that's going to tear the side mesh off one of these days

Reason 3: Those extra deep pockets are pretty worthless to me. Everything settles to the bottom, so if I'm looking for something I have to root around the deep pockets to find stuff. I guess they work okay for CDs and stuff, but its easier to find CDs etc in a  classic suitcase.

Reason 4: The thing is H.E.A.V.Y. Hell, I'm in my 60's I practically need a man to get it out of the car.

I don't want to criticize Zuca in a way that implies it's a badly made product. It's a well made product and maybe those mesh sides are stronger than I think they are. If it rocks your boat, that's fine.

On the other hand,  I want to sit with my sisters in the CIRCLE OF THE SACRED FIRE, so I'll put up with it.'

You guy's know I made up all that CIRCLE OF THE SACRED FIRE shit don't you? It's not like we go out in the wilderness and dance around a fire and chant Patrick Chan's highest COP and GOE scores or anything.

"Patrick Chan? I thought it was Jason Brown's this week."

Adult Skater Responsibilities #1

Sometimes when I'm at the rink a coach in lesson will skate near me with their little student and call me by name, as in "Hi Babbette!"

"You talkin' to me?!"

 Now, as far as I'm concerned when a coach is in lesson, I should be invisible. The coach's eyes should be focused like two diamond tipped drill bits on their little student.  They do not want to talk to me about my skating. They shouldn't even notice me.

Coach drill bit eyes

As near as I can figure out, the coach calls my name because they want to pause the lesson for a second and they know I'll do my adult skater job.


I skate over and I start complimenting the hell out of the student, and sometimes the coach.

 To a girl,I'll say

"Oh, what a beautiful dress/hat/barette/jacket/new skates/you're so pretty....."

or to a boy,

"Oh, you have such good posture/balance/power/edges/swing roll/three turn/smooth jump landing...."


Or to a kid who is very young,

"Coach X is such a wonderful coach, I know you'll have a great time learning to skate."

Then with a smile, I gracefully skate away.

Damn, I'm good.