Thursday, October 27, 2011

AOSS

There is a serious syndrome in the world today. It forces people to exercise, to improve their flexibility and endurance, and to achieve physical and inner balance. It occurs when an adult enters an ice rink and has a good time, followed by dreams of gliding expertly across the ice. Soon comes Learn to Skate group lessons, private lessons,  meeting other adult skaters, participating in Christmas ice shows, skating club participation, muttering darkly at judges' decisions during National, World and Olympic championships, and having your doctor comment "You're amazingly graceful. What have you been doing?" This is called "Adult Onset Skating Syndrome." (AOSS)

I am a victim.

Because of AOSS, I lift weights, do Pilates,  do endurance exercises, and know the schedule of every ice rink in a 50 mile radius. Fortunately, I've not advanced to AOSS Stage IV: "Swarovski Crystal Stoning Compulsion" (SCSC). I'm only at Stage I: Ecto-Endous Edge-opexy (EEE--outside inside edge fixation) with Stage 1a Torvil-Dean Dance Disease (TDDD) and Stage 1b Moves in the Field Morphology  (MM). I've been told this is incurable and will get worse. Eventually I will be in Stage V: Gold Test Tension Grumbling (GTTG). 

I can't wait.

Fortunately, I am an engineer by trade with 40 years of  experience analyzing complex physical systems.  I've approached my skating like an engineering problem.   I'll share some simple tips that have worked for me, and some stories of how I learned to improve my skating.  It's a big scary frozen world out there. We adult skaters need to hang together. Join me in the glide across the ice.


1 comment:

  1. Agnesnitt or Babbette either one suits me fine. I appreciate you sense of humor and your willingness to offer suggestions & encouragement as I struggle with this skating monster.

    Good luck with your blog, I look forward to more entries.

    Harleyboy aka Tommy

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