The SLOWEST Person on Ice

Last weekend I was heading to a blue hockey line where I saw Skate Dad working on his 60 revolution 2 foot spins. When he headed off to the far end of the rink, I started doing my forward edges. Before I  could get even one finished, he was back at the blue line, and nearly ran into me.

I might as well, be standing still, I'm so slow.

But classy. Like a fine wine….or cheese….or  a double wide trailer with a gas fireplace. (wink, wink)

I Turn Five Again

Poor Miss Bianca. I must be the biggest five year old she's ever had as a student.

She has a plan for my lesson. A well thought out, professional plan where she builds on my skills and corrects my errors with guidance and thoughtful corrections.

And then I start talking:

"See my edges! See my lunge!
See my two foot spin! See my crossovers!
See my under push and extension!
Look at my bad side mohawks!"

Poor Miss Bianca. When I'm on an enthusiasm tear, I'm like a five year old, I want to do everything at once. I want to jump ahead in the lesson.   Miss Bianca has to work her coach magic...

Now I'm finally ready to receive her instruction!

Hi! I'm ready for my lesson!

A Typical Lesson

So, like most skaters, I'm needy. When my coach starts my lesson, I expect to be the center of attention.

Then she'll start teaching something new. "Hold your wrist so, don't twist your shoulder, bend that knee, get your head up, don't look down, don't be so nervous. Okay. That was a….start."

I feel like this.

I'm overwhelmed when I learn new stuff!

But recently I've started getting skating skills where they're second nature and I don't have to think about every single bit and piece of my body. Then I feel like this:

Sometimes, while I'm trying something new, my coach will demonstrate it for me.

I'm certain I'll never be that good.

Then, the lesson is over, and I pay up! You have to pay up!

By the time I get an axel, this is what it will cost….