Things I Hate About Skating. 8

WHEN MY COACH HAS DECIDED I'M GOING TO BE IN A COMPETITIONS

 How she acts:

How I act on the outside:

How I feel inside:

Forward Inside Three Hell

I have pretty solid forward outside threes. Okay, there's still a checking issue, but I can do them either direction, in pattern, and not from a stop.

Last year I had Forward Inside threes. They disappeared when the Knee Went Bad. Now Miss Bianaca is all serious and everything about  getting them back. Most of the time I'm a serious and mature skater but when it comes to FI3, I'm all like this...

while Miss Bianca is pretty relaxed about the whole thing. She has a technique fore teaching FI3.

a. Push off onto an inside edge and place the free foot in the T-position, with a slightly open free leg.
b. As you do the turn hold the free leg so that as the skating foot finished the turn the free foot ends up parallel to the skating foot.
c. Move your hips in the turn.

I'm apparently a 'hip flinger'. When I do the three turn I do it al with my upper body and the hips kind of get pulled around at the last minute. This makes the shoulders of my 3 turn flat on the exit edge, and sometimes I can actually get a hook on the three turn.  This is because I've got stiff hips. I'm not proud about it, it's just that I worry more about my feet. My hips are on their own.

Still, about half the time I try, I can get a FI3 that works. Here's a video.

See, the hips are late in the turn.

The Whining Ritual--on Ice

Miss Bianca was looking thoughtful today. I've got all my basic skills, not perfect but they're all there (even the  weak side mohawk) and she wanted to move on to something new.

"Can you do Tango Stops?" she asked.

If your coach hasn't introduced you to these, a Tango Stop is a forward stop like a T-Stop but the stopping foot is in front of the skating foot.  They can be scary to learn.

"Oh, no," I said, "Those are scary. I can't possibly do those."

We're entering a ritual of learning new skills. It has 3 stages.
1. Miss Bianca tells me to do something.
2. I whine.
3. Then I do it anyway. Because Miss Bianca is THE BOSS.

It goes like this:

Miss Bianca gives me directions.

"Here's how to do this."

I whine:

Stage 1 Whine

Working up to a:
Stage 2 Whine 

Miss Bianca rolls her eyes and give me a pep talk.

Then I do what she wants me to do!

"Good little student. Good girl. And you said you couldn't do it."

(Shaffer pushes, still a long way off!)

I Turn Five Again

Poor Miss Bianca. I must be the biggest five year old she's ever had as a student.

She has a plan for my lesson. A well thought out, professional plan where she builds on my skills and corrects my errors with guidance and thoughtful corrections.

And then I start talking:

"See my edges! See my lunge!
See my two foot spin! See my crossovers!
See my under push and extension!
Look at my bad side mohawks!"

Poor Miss Bianca. When I'm on an enthusiasm tear, I'm like a five year old, I want to do everything at once. I want to jump ahead in the lesson.   Miss Bianca has to work her coach magic...

Now I'm finally ready to receive her instruction!

Hi! I'm ready for my lesson!

A Typical Lesson

So, like most skaters, I'm needy. When my coach starts my lesson, I expect to be the center of attention.

Then she'll start teaching something new. "Hold your wrist so, don't twist your shoulder, bend that knee, get your head up, don't look down, don't be so nervous. Okay. That was a….start."

I feel like this.

I'm overwhelmed when I learn new stuff!

But recently I've started getting skating skills where they're second nature and I don't have to think about every single bit and piece of my body. Then I feel like this:

Sometimes, while I'm trying something new, my coach will demonstrate it for me.

I'm certain I'll never be that good.

Then, the lesson is over, and I pay up! You have to pay up!

By the time I get an axel, this is what it will cost….

String Theory for Figure Skaters

Today was my first lesson with Miss Bianca after my shingles recovery. She was glad to see me back.

Before my lesson, I was watching her teach her student (a girl of about 8) how to do lunges. Miss Bianca thinks lunges are "a cute little element".  She took the girl's hand to help her balance going down and coming up. "You're next!" she said cheerfully. I eyeballed the hand holding assistance. "You know I can take you down in a heartbeat don't you?" 

Miss Bianca thinks,
"I will get my revenge..."

Ten minutes later, when my lesson started, I laid down a competent lunge right off and said, "That's it for today!"  We both laughed. I was better than the eight year old too!

After reviewing my basic skills,  I did a two foot spin. After Lake Placid and my 10 minutes in Evelyn Kramer's spin class, I can do a two foot spin. I never thought that would happen. It's not a great spin, it's a slow, ladylike spin. Just two revolutions.

Slow but steady...

Miss Bianca told me to pretend I had a string attached to the top of my head and pretend it was pulling me up to the ceiling. This was to keep me from looking down when I did a spin.

Here I am in the appropriate upright position
while Miss Bianca instructs and an
ice tourist stares.

So I did a 3-turn entry and got an extra revolution...not any extra speed though.  Conservation of angular momentum's got me down....

The string theory works though. I don't get dizzy and I get an extra revolution.

Good head position in a back spin!

My Christmas Program

Miss Bianca is determined that I do a Christmas program. Why she wants to torture a poor audience filled with parents and children, I have no Idea.

"What song?" I asked.

"Shimmy Like My Sister Kate."

The woman is clearly insane. I'm an exuberant older woman who's willing to go places of bad taste that is clearly inappropriate for an under 18 audience.

"I have no skills." I say, but I'm sure she intends to choreograph something. I can see it now.

I stroke in as fast as I can.

Start with a shimmy

A two foot spin

Some back skating

A little backend work.

Then I do some foot work

Some final shoulder work

And a nice ending

Well, old performer that I am, I know what it will take for this program to work. "So," I say to Miss Bianca, "Can I have a costume with Double L cups?"

Graduation Hell

This week I ran through my FO3 for Miss Bianca and she pronounced herself satisfied. They're far from perfect (I've got some checking issues) but they're strong and consistent.

Hooray! I'm moving on from FO3!!!

Then Miss Bianca said, "Let's work on you FI3."

You know, lady, give me more than 3 seconds of happiness before you introduce fresh hells into my lesson.

Anyway, she had me start doing FI3. I'm all ass over teacup.

Welcome to FI3 hell.

Then she ran me through two footed brackets and back threes.  If she'd asked me to do them one footed, I'd have said no.

But I know what's she's thinking.....

Famous Skater Stories

Miss Bianca told me today, that she was once on freestyle with Viktor Petrenko. It was an insane freestyle. She said it had thirty-five skaters on the ice.

Then she, Viktor and another skater nearly crashed into each other.  She said, Viktor avoided the crash, shrugged and laughed it off.

The Man Has Class
(And Bedroom Eyes)

A couple of years ago, I was taking a dance lesson at Lake Placid when my coach nearly ran us into the Protopopovs. We both stopped with a foot to spare.

"Nice, move," I said as we skated away, "You nearly killed the Protopopovs."

I've written about Famous Former Olympian Now a Coach here before. When I'm on ice he glares at me. Well, maybe that's just his natural expression and he glares at everyone. Whatever. Anyway, I sometimes say "Hello dear" in my little old lady voice, then stay well, well, very well out of the way of his students.

So today, I was waiting for the ice to open, and he walks past me. It was like this:

That's me on the left.

Ten seconds later, as he stepped on the ice, he caught a toepick and nearly went down. The coach skating next to him had to grab his arm to keep him up.

Yes, I did feel all Schadenfreude.

The Never Ending Construction Project--Me

I'm a FO3 flinger. When I'm doing a LFO3, I fling my right hip around during the turn. Apparently, I do this going up stairs in just regular life, so there's an underlying disability. Rapunzel the Cruel, my physical therapist, has been working on strengthening and stretching muscles around the hip, and the  effects are starting to bleed through into my skating.

"I've been working on not letting my right leg  open up too much on FO3," I tell Miss Bianca. "I think if I keep my hips square it seems to help me with the back edge."

"Hm, let's see." Miss Bianca says.

I demonstrate.

"No," she says, "The issue is that you keep your right hip hiked up and fling it around the turn. So when you go backwards, you're off balance. Let's fix that right now."

I think every coach I've ever had, has told me a variation of this. I just didn't know how to process it. Now with the new awareness I've gained from physical therapy, and stronger muscles around the hip, I'm ready to work on it consciously.

I spent my lesson, getting my hip to un-hike. It's not just a matter of lowering it a little, it's a matter of lowering it a lot. To get my hips even, I have to lower my right hip to the point it feels scary.

"Lower," Miss Bianca says, "Even lower than that."

"Eeeeee!" my brain goes. But it works!

We do some edge exercises, and for the first time on an inside edge, I can feel a sense of power as I get the hips even.  What's happening, is that when I hiked my hip up, I was either on the flat or an outside edge ("How do you DO that!" one coach said) when I'm supposed to be on an inside edge. Unhiked, I'm finally on the inside edge.

Nothing's 'fixed' yet, but I think I've had a breakthrough.

Miss Bianca says, "Oh yes,
that looks much better."